There’s a wide range of people who come past my desk. Some have already agreed on an outcome and just want me to ‘lock it in’ legally-speaking. Other people have come out of high-conflict relationships and are likely to need professional assistance working towards a resolution. For the middle ground of people who are close to agreeing but aren’t quite there yet, here are some words of wisdom to help you get there with as little time, stress and lawyer fees as possible.

  1. Think laterally. It is tempting to set your goal and try to get as close as you can to it. The risk is that anything less can seem like a failure. It also means you might bypass other good ideas. Instead, write down as many potential outcomes as you can and think about how each might (or might not) help you move forward with your life. You might find an unexpected preference or a combination of different options works best for you.

 

  1. Talk about why something is important to you can be more effective than just demanding it.

 

  1. Recognise that what is relevant in law can be different to what is relevant to you personally. The Courtroom is not the place to resolve all of it.

 

  1. Think about your kids, if you have any. The time and money you spend on arguing might be better spent on their education or enjoying time with you.